The Bachelor

Behold him issuin’ fra yon den,

In his owd filthy garment ;

Despised of women, shunn’d by men,

A prey to fleeas and varmint.

For weeks he ne’er hes wesh’d his faace,

His haar he ne’er puts comb in ;

Wi’ dogged looks fra plaace to plaace

He cheerlessly is roamin’,

A Bachelor.


Naa cheerful hearth, naa fireside breet, —

A pictur’ maast delightin’ —

Shines in his gloomy cot at neet,

His haamward steps invitin’.

Naa thrifty wife, wi’ queen-like pride,

Sits thaar an’ plies her knittin’ ;

Thaar, by his dull an’ dark fireside,

He all forlorn is sittin’,

A Bachelor.


Come on wi’ me an’ view his cot, —

His haam, his habitation ;

Mark weel the lone man’s dreary lot,

His cheerless situation.

Thaar meeat, hauf-cook’d i’ mucky pan,

He swallows for subsistence :

It can’t be said “ Here lives a man ! ”

But yan drags out existence,

A Bachelor.


Mark weel his bed, baath stock an’ post,

His blanket an’ his sheet ;

Yon heeap o’ duds, in uproar tost,

Sarves for a bed at neet,

He doesn’t tak the thowt an’ caar

To spreead his rags about ;

But, like a fox into his lair,

Creeps in whar he crept out,

A Bachelor.


Exposed to cowd, exposed to damps,

Wi’ smook an’ muck weel scented ;

Wi’ rheumatism, pains an’ cramps,

He hourly is tormented.

To fower baar waus he may complain,

Naa livin’ soul comes near him ;

Thaar he may roll an’ graan with pain,

There’s naa kind wife to cheer him,

A Bachelor.


Of au the troubles, girt an’ sma’,

That harrass an’ distress man, —

Of au the evils that befa’,

To punish an’ oppress man, —

Of au the ills that curse his lot,

The warst that I can tell

Is to be shut in some dark cot

To live thaar by hissel,

A Bachelor.


Of au the sluts that e’er were seen

To slop through muck an’ watter,

Wi’ haar au hingin’ ower their een,

An’ claas au rag an’ tatter —

Or ony ill-tongued, scoldin’ shrew

Ye chance to hear or see —

Give me the warst amang the crew,

Before I’ll live an’ dee

A Bachelor.